User blog comment:Guildmaster Grovyle/JLE Role Play, Winter 2014-2015/@comment-24422626-20141210070314

Oh, it doesn't work like that. You see, I don't make my gift bottles like genie lamps. I've custom tailored this bottle to fit you, Ironworks! Allow me to explain...

Three sips you may take from this bottle in your times of need. Depending on what you want at that time, you may choose what you get. However, these services are specific, and limited to you and you alone; in addition, each of these services may only happen once...

First, one of the sips will teleport you to my planet. Discordia. Chaoscant. Whatever you want to call it. Use only in cases of dire depression, thrill-seeking, or stupidity. A clap of your hooves will bring you back. Or a snap of my talons, if you conduct yourself rudely while you're there.

As a second option, you may gain the power to shrink your forge and carry it around on a necklace. It will also return to its normal size when you want it to, but it won't do that if it will cause damage by doing so. You know, I would suggest just taking that swig now.

Lastly... You may request anything you want. But that doesn't mean I'll grant it. Har har. That would be too much. Tell me what you want before you take the sip... and I'll tell you whether you can have it. Don't ask for something that the other two wishes grant, though. That's just stoopid.

After you've used your three swigs, the drink won't grant you anything. But you can change it to any drink you want... For example, you could sip cherry cola, apple cider, plum wine, margarita... And the bottle never runs dry. Drink responsibly. Or the bottle disappears.

Smash the bottle, and you'll summon me.

...Was that too complicated?