User blog comment:Guildmaster Grovyle/JLE Role Play, Spring 2015/@comment-27103443-20150504161920

''Strongheart finds another room that suits his need. ''

Strongheart: Well...it's no mansion, but it'll do. *sigh* I wish I had been more brave with Goldfin...I should have asked her on a date or something...

???: I agree you are too cowardly!

''Strongheart's head whips around and he is greeted with what appears to be a satyr standing in the corner of the guest room. Two massive horns curl on his head. ''

???: I also think you need to start lifting weight, Noodle Arms, but one thing at a time, right?

Strongheart: Wh-who are you?

???: Why I'm Malice of course! World famous nightmare bringer!

Strongheart: Ni-nightmare bringer?

Malice: Well, yes. But never fear! I am not here to give you nightmares. My son thinks that is what I am doing, but alas, I have never listened to him. So, instead I decided to to help you out with that damn sexy mare in the other room.

Strongheart: Did you-?

Malice: Hush, all in time...''Malice opens up the jacket he's wearing and begins rummaging through the pockets. He pulls out what appears to be a stopwatch. ''Ah yes, from my calculations...Hot Fudge Sundae in the other room is seriously prideful. So prideful that it interferes with all of her other emotions. Basically, this means that she doesn't have a great capibility to feel the emotion of love. It's actually almost nonexistent.

Strongheart: How is that-?

Malice: Let me finish, kid.

Strongheart: I'm thirty-seven years old, I am not a kid...

Malice: You are to me. Anyway, what you're doing with Golden Whatsherface is fine, but you need to step up your game a little bit.

Strongheart: Step up-

Malice: Stop interrupting. Anyway, the whole blindly agreeing with everything she says is just fine, but maybe you shouldn't be so God damn timid around her all the time. It's an unattractive quality. Stop freezing up everytime she barely even brushes against you. I'm here to help you become less timid.

Strongheart: I'm not-

Malice: Please. Face the music, kid. You got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget last Tuesday's incident...

Strongheart: Incident?

''Malice rummages through his pockets again. He throws a shovel to the ground, then an owl, then a pair of aviators. ''I have a recording of it in here somewhere...Ah whatever...This scene has too many references in it anyway.

''Malice picks up the shovel and proceed to shovel up the owl and toss it out the window. ''See...I knew buying this Owl Trowel was a good idea.

Strongheart: Could you slow down-

Malice: You can slow down when you're old...Anyway, let's begin with the timidity training. Let's do some roleplay!

Strongheart: I'm not...

Malice: Hush, it'll be fine! ''Malice snaps his fingers and a crudely made, life-sized plush of Goldfin stands in front of Strongheart. ''See, it'll be exactly like the real thing!

Strongheart: I'm not sure...

Malice: See! That's your problem. You need to be more sure about things! Okay, I'll be Silver Age.

Strongheart: It's Golden Age...

Malice: Yes, her. Anyway. ''Malice clears his throat and puts on a rather poor impression of Golden Age's voice. ''Hello, my name is Golden Age! I like swimming and being super Gothic about the depths of the ocean. I also am an extreme narcissist and only care about myself and no one else!

Strongheart: That's not how she sounds!

Malice: I'm sure it is...